Bringing the Past Into the Future |
Blog |
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I want to tell you how I used search mode to assimilate painful feelings. My best friend was mad at me for some reason. Or at least it felt like she was mad at me. I asked her what was wrong but she wouldn't talk. She barely looked at me. I felt strongly sad and angry at the same time. I racked my brain trying to figure out what I could have done to make my friend angry but nothing made sense. I was afraid I would get into a fight with my friend. It finally dawned on me that my feelings were probably a pushed button or genetic memory. That relieved the panic I felt but I still felt terrible so I started using various cathartic techniques to see what would help the most. I used the association technique by asking myself how my feelings could help me talk to my friend and how I could use my feelings to cope with the possibility that our friendship will end. I kept searching for how my feelings could help me communicate to my friend. I didn't get many answers but various memories popped into my head about things we've done together. The memories were a mixture of pleasant times and some of the fights we've had. It was a strange experience because I had forgotten most of the memories. At some point, I started to feel better. Mostly I realized that I didn't know what was going on with my friend and I really needed to ask her and tell her I've been feeling uncomfortable about it. My sadness and anger went away and I had a long and very connected conversation with my friend. It turned out she was jealous of me and didn't know how to deal with her feelings. Thanks so much for this book. - Kiera Thank you, Kiera. This is a great example of how any feeling can be used to achieve anything you want. Kiera was sad and angry with her friend. Normally that could cause a fight. Instead, Kiera asked herself how those feelings could help her communicate with her friend. The mind is very flexible. If you ask, it will find ways to connect anything to anything else and it doesn't care if the connection is possible or not. Kiera's questions directed all faculties of her mind to the task of constructively talking to her friend. Because Kiera used her full mind, the feelings assimilated and her sense of the situation became clear and grounded. Even though she didn't come up with answers, she felt more comfortable and had a better sense of how to proceed. I find it particularly interesting that while she was working on finding ways to communicate, many memories popped into her head. As if the past was somehow trying to help with Kiera with her future or was at least an important part of her process. - Lloyd |
Bad Helping Good Bringing the Past Into the Future |